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I adore fairy tale retellings! As in, when I discover books that are based on fairy tales, it's very rare that I will ever pass them up, even if they look like they'll be a far cry from what I'd normally read. The Grimm Chronicles immediately caught my attention and it was soon on my TBR list. Fairy tales and a strong female heroine? Yes please!
Story: 200 years ago, the Brothers Grimm unleashed their stories upon the world. Literally. Now the characters of the Grimms’ stories walk among us. With every day that passes, they grow more evil. They are the Corrupted, and only a hero can stop them.
For 18-year-old Alice Goodenough, that means taking precious time off from her summer vacation. In addition to volunteering at the local library, Alice must stop the Corrupted who are now actively hunting her down. With the help of her magic pen and her trusty rabbit friend, the world has suddenly gotten a lot more complex. The Corrupted are everywhere, and only Alice can see them for what they truly are.
This book contains the first 3 episodes of the critically acclaimed series: Episode 1: Prince Charming Must Die!
Episode 2: Happily Never After
Episode 3: Revenge of the Castle Cats
Additional features for the print edition:
- An introduction
- Two special “Lost Diaries”
- A behind-the-scenes interview
- A collection of original Grimms’ Fairy Tales
The Grimm Chronicles is intended for Young Adults aged 13 and up. The goal is to provide Young Adult readers with a strong, charismatic young woman in the role of the hero and provide readers with a positive protagonist who uses her brain to overcome obstacles life throws in her way.
Thoughts and impressions: Fairy
tales are very popular right now, from retellings of the classics (Alex Finn’s
books) to fantastical spins that
leave the story a far cry from the original (Throne of Glass). They’re all over TV and cinema as well, with
Grimm, Once Upon a Time, a new version of Beauty and the Beast lined up for
this fall, the recent Snow White and the Huntsman, Snow White (the Julia
Roberts version), and Jack the Giant Killer coming soon.
Most of
us are fairly well aware of the existence of most of the fairy tales just due
to general culture. I know that I personally read a few of them when I was
young (the few that are appropriate for that age group) but I haven’t read the
originals since then. It’s something that I always mean to rectify but never
seem to get around to doing.
With
this book we have the first of four eventual volumes comprised of three tales
each. They’re centred around one character, Alison Goodenough (have to admit
that I’m not a fan of the name, mind), who is living the original Grimm fairy
tales, warped slightly by events that transpire in the beginning and our modern
society. There’s a white rabbit mixed into it all, which I wasn’t as keen on
because a) it felt at times that he was used as an easy way of wrapping up the
situation, and b) the white rabbit belongs to Alice in Wonderland, and as far
as I am aware there is no talking white rabbit in the fairy tales written by
the brothers Grimm.
Despite
this little niggle, I enjoyed this book a lot. A very nice touch was that the
Grimm’s fairy tales used in this are listed so it’d be fairly easy to go and
find the original should you wish to compare it with this new spin on events. I
personally won’t be doing that as I don’t have the time to do so right now, but
it’s a great added extra for anyone who would be interested in making their own
comparison.
The
whole aim of this series was to have a new take on the fairy tale events in
such a way that would allow a strong female character to rise to the forefront
of events. This was a success and Alison Goodenough turned out to be an
enjoyable character to follow through her adventures. I’m interested in seeing
where the authors will take things from here!
Final verdict: I'm always interested in fairy tale retellings and I vastly enjoyed what the authors did with these tales from the Brothers Grimm. 4 stars
Get a sneak peek:
Chapter one: Prince Charming Must Die!
I
should have known Edward was too good to be true.
No.
Wait. Let me go back to the beginning. Before I had this curse. Before I went
around slaying creatures that shouldn’t exist. Before I made friends with a rabbit.
Let’s
start at the end of my junior year of high school. That was when all of this
really started. I was looking forward to summer. I didn’t have a job but I had
something even better: a volunteer spot at the local library. It was the best
job in the world—sure, I mostly just put away all of the books and no, I wasn’t
getting paid. But I loved being inside that old building. From the outside, it
looked like a big old firehouse complete with rusty red bricks a rusted fire
escape on one side. All it needed was one of those big garage doors for the
fire truck.
Inside,
though … that was where it all happened. When you walked in through the front
door, you passed the little check-out desk where one of the old librarians
would give a smile. Beyond that: rows and rows of old metal bookcases. Fiction.
History. Biography. Science. In the center of the massive space was a circular
table with five computers, the only hint of technology in the entire place.
Even
the light bulbs were old! I’m not
kidding—the lights hanging from the tiled ceiling had old steel shades,
something out of the nineteenth century. It was a good thing the library closed
before it got dark because without sunlight streaming in through the windows,
the place might take on a much creepier tone.
But
in the daylight, it just looked neat.
On the second floor were more bookcases, mostly children’s books and young
adult books, but there was a reading room up there, too. I remember going there
as a child and sitting on the red carpet of the reading room and following
along as one of the librarians read one of the children’s novels. My dad sat
outside, reading Star Trek books.
I
remember the first time I “graduated” to the first floor. I chose a science
book about extinct animals from long ago. I’d been enraptured by a drawing on
the first page where a long-extinct saber-toothed tiger was battling a
ferocious lion. I just knew the tiger had won because tigers are the greatest.
I
remember that time because I’d almost gone into the basement. The basement door
was near the bathrooms and I’d opened the door by mistake. A cool breeze had
touched my skin. It was so dark that I squinted, trying to make something out.
Anything. But it was too dark, and it gave little 13-year-old me the chills.
The
basement. If only I’d known what was waiting for me down there.
Needless
to say, I was ready for exam week to be over. Even my last class of the
day—hardly a class at all—couldn’t keep me entertained. Fencing. Where other
girls chose basic gym because the rules for roller skating and badminton were
relaxed enough to allow casual gossip, I’d made the choice to fence with six
other guys—including my boyfriend Edward—and a girl named Tina who was on the
verge of failing.
“You
have to attack,” I told her midway through class. She’d lost twice already
during the week and we were being graded on our form. Tina didn’t have form.
Tina had nothing more than an amazing ability to swing her sword—called a
“foil”—left and right as fast as possible and delay the inevitable.
“I
can’t attack,” she told me, shifting in the chair. We were in a small weight
training room off of the gym. In front of us, two of the other students were
fencing in full gear, their shoes squeaking on the red rubber mats. “The boys
are stronger.”
“Oh
gawd,” I muttered. “Look,” I pointed to the two boys fighting. They were both
wearing white uniforms but one of the helmets had an A printed on the back and
the other a B so our teacher—Mr. Whitmann—could communicate the scores.
“What
am I looking at?” Tina asked.
“Watch
Gregg,” I said. “He’s the A. Watch him parry. See how he always uses the same
riposte? He loves stabbing after he parries.” We watched them attack and parry
again, the thin blades of their fencing swords clanging together. Gregg took
two steps back, parrying his opponent’s attacks. When the time was right, he
took the offensive, stabbing wildly at his opponent’s ribs. “Just watch their
shoulders,” I told Tina.
Mr.
Whitmann called an end to the fight and tallied up the scores. Gregg was the
surefire winner.
“He’s
too good,” Tina moaned. “All these swords just blur my vision. I can’t even see
them coming!”
“Just
focus,” I said. “We’re not losing to a bunch of stinky boys. Gregg doesn’t even
wear deodorant, for crying out loud.”
“Alice,”
Mr. Whitmann said, wrinkling his black mustache. “You can’t keep quiet sitting
there? You’re up. Gregg, you stay on.”
I
grabbed the B mask and foil from the quiet boy who’d just been creamed by
Gregg. I adjusted the plastic chest protector underneath my jacket, much to the
chagrin of the boys seat at the edge of the mat. Edward simply smiled, giving
me a thumbs-up. I have to admit, he looked pretty good sitting there. He was
one of the few guys who could wear the bulky fencing gear with any grace, like
he was actually comfortable
underneath all the padding.
“En
guard,” Mr. Whitmann called out. I barely had time to get a grip on the foil
before Gregg came crashing at me with all the grace of a football player. I
parried his thrusts; the clang of the swords was almost lost inside the mask
but not quite and I relished it. I loved this moment. I loved the salty smell
of sweat inside the mask. I loved the way the world seemed dark and closed-in
from behind the black mesh.
And
I loved winning. Especially against boys bigger than me. And as Gregg came in
again, I parried low, pulling his foil downward, taking a quick step back and
then a quick step forward and thrusting the foil into his chest. The tip of my
sword pressed into the protective jacket and the narrow blade bent in a U-shape.
“Point,”
Mr. Whitmann called out. “Parry-riposte from the right. Good job, young lady.”
“Can
you sound more surprised?” I muttered inside the mask. Mr. Whitmann was a
small, portly man with jet-black hair and hairy arms. He favored the boys; that
much was obvious. And he loved Edward. Everyone loved Edward. From the very day
he transferred to Washington High School, he was universally loved.
Gregg
came at me again, this time swinging his sword even more violently. I parried
as best I could, stepping away from him. He didn’t even have his free hand
behind his back, and if our foils weren’t dulled at the tip I could have nicked
the skin of his bare hand. He left me another opening and I took it, stabbing
him in the rib.
“Point
B,” Mr. Whitmann said. “Excellent job, Alice.”
Gregg
stepped back, tearing off his mask in frustration. I took mine off and pulled
loose strands of black hair behind my ears. I glanced at Edward, who was
sitting with the other boys, smiling approvingly.
Later,
at the end of the day, he sidled up to me at my locker. “Do you need help with
your books?” Students had begun sifting out; the only ones lingering were the
select few who needed a few extra minutes to fill our backpacks with notes and
textbooks. Our school was like that: a lot of slackers. Kids who preferred C’s
because it allowed more time to watch awful TV shows. Exam week was even worse
because some students only had one or two classes—plus gym—and then could
leave.
I
spun around and wrapped my arms around him, planting a kiss on his lips. He had
soft, full lips, perfect for smooching. “We’re waiting for Tricia and Seth. I
told them you would give them a ride home. Is that OK?”
He
smiled, holding me close. “Of course. Will you spend some time with me
tonight?”
How
could I say no? Edward was dreamy. Edward was everything a 17-year-old girl
wanted: dark looks, chiseled body, searching green eyes, short brown hair, and
of course an earring to top it all off. That isn’t to say the earring was the
deal-maker—more of a cherry on top of a tasty sundae.
A
really, really tasty sundae.
I’d
met him in a strange sort of way. Well, strange in retrospect. At the time, it
couldn’t have been more exciting. I’d been at the park down by Lake Michigan
with a couple friends right before school started. They’d gone rollerblading
and so I took to the opportunity to knock down a few chapters of a new fiction
novel, lying back on a bench. My eyes slowly shut.
When
I woke up, he was standing over me. In all his hunky glory. Wearing a tight
blue button-down shirt. He was looking down at me like he wanted to kiss me.
Yeah.
“I’m
sorry,” he said. “I just noticed that something is about to flitter out of your
purse.”
I
glanced down at my black purse sitting on the grass next to the bench. He was
right: a little slip of paper was hanging out, fluttering in the wind.
“Flitter,” I repeated with a smile. “I like the sound of that word.”
“It
used to be quite a popular word,” he said, crouching down beside me. He was
regarding me ... really, really staring into my eyes. “Royalty used it for a
long time. And then when the peasants started using it, the royalty stopped.
Weird, no?”
I
laughed. “Do you always walk up to girls and tell them about the history of
words?”
He
laughed, too, glancing at the piece of paper still flittering as the breeze
picked up again. “No, no. I don’t know where that came from. I’m usually much more awkward.”
I
felt incredibly calm around him, calm enough to sit up and hold out a hand.
“I’m Alice.”
“Edward,”
he said, taking my hand in his. “So what is it?” he asked, nodding to the
paper. “I bet it’s a shopping list.”
“That’s
so goofy!” I said with a laugh. “I hate shopping. My mom shops for me.” I
winced. Stupid, stupid. “I mean, I shop for myself. Sometimes. It’s just a note
to myself. It says Alice, please remember
to return your book to the library.”
“Ah,
a library denizen,” he said. “Do you go to the downtown library?”
“No,”
I said. “I live out by New Berlin. There’s a little library right by my house.”
“So
you go to Washington High, then?”
I nodded.
“I’m
starting there this year,” he said. “I’m a little nervous. I transferred from
out of state.”
“Just
keep a list of weird words handy,” I offered.
He
smiled. We talked some more. I don’t remember what we talked about because my
head was swimming with excitement.
He
came up to me the first day of class. We were leaving English, having been
assigned a section of Jane Eyre, one
of my favorite classic novels. Just walking through the crowded hall, I could
see eyes on me in every direction. That never happened before. But now here the
mysterious new guy was talking to little old me, telling me about his original
copy of Jane Eyre that he wanted to
show me, but only if I agreed to let him take me out to dinner.
That
Friday night, the first Friday of the school year, we had our first date in a
crowded dark little restaurant in downtown Milwaukee that featured $25 plates
and whose walls were covered with old paintings. I thought I was going to die.
Being there with him. Eating food my parents would be jealous of. Staring at
the plastic-wrapped original copy of Jane
Eyre, with “An Autobiography” in small text underneath the title.
Tricia
and Seth met us at the entrance to the school. Tricia was wearing heels today,
which made her an inch or two taller than Seth. They were both wearing their
Washington Dragons t-shirts to show a little school spirit: the girls’
basketball team—the “Lady Dragons”—had won the state championships again. Seth
looked younger with such a large shirt on. He was already short, and his boyish
pimpled face and short blond hair didn’t help things. He’d gotten an ear
pierced a year ago but it had become infected and he had to take it out … just
Seth’s luck.
“That
really doesn’t do much for your figure,” I said to Tricia with a smile. I turned
to Seth. “Yours either, dear.”
Seth
just shrugged. “They were out of small sizes.”
“I
got mine for free,” Tricia said proudly. She tossed her blond hair over her
shoulders. “The cheerleaders were throwing t-shirts into the stands at the last
home game.”
Seth
jerked a thumb in her direction. “Trish reached over an old lady’s head and
tore it out of her hands.”
“I
did not!” Tricia said, slapping him lightly on the arm. This could have been
the beginning of a long, drawn-out fight. That was how they were. It was the
complete opposite of Edward and me: we never fought. I didn’t want to deal with
their fight today. I didn’t want either of them preoccupied before our biology
final on Thursday. The only sensible course was a diversion.
“Are
those the jeans we picked out last week?” I asked.
Tricia
lifted up her too-long shirt, extending one leg. “Indeed they are. Acid wash is
going to make a comeback, I swear it.”
Edward
and Seth both laughed a little. “She’s probably right,” Edward said. “Every
style eventually makes a comeback.”
“Yeah
but is she going to live that long?” Seth asked with a raised eyebrow.
Another
playful slap. But this time, he caught her hand and held it. A good sign that
they would stay on good terms and at least try
to get some studying done tonight. I didn’t want either of them to fail.
We
walked toward Edward’s car on the far end of the parking lot. Nothing but the
best for Edward: a great car and a great parking space. Only the upper-class
kids had parking spaces in the little lot behind Washington High. The rest of
us peasants parked on the streets in the surrounding neighborhood, generally
upsetting the owners of the one-story boxes who liked their street quiet and
devoid of teenagers.
“You
think it’s gonna rain?” Seth asked, glancing up at the gray sky. “I’m so sick
of the rain. I gotta start biking to work to save money on gas.”
Tricia
wrapped her arm in his. “It’s going to rain every day you have to work. All
summer.”
“That’s
the meanest thing you’ve ever said to him,” I told her with a laugh. Edward’s
hand found mine and squeezed it tight. I felt a little surge of warmth spread
across my body. I looked up at him. He was a foot taller than me, a good six
inches taller than Tricia and she was five-ten. He could have been on the basketball
team. I told him that. He would always respond: “I’d rather spend time with
you.”
Dreamy,
eh?
In
the car, Seth sat up front and controlled the radio dial with calculated fury,
making sure we were never tortured by any commercials. Edward had one of the
nicest cars but he drove in control and always used his turn signals, even as
he was pulling out of the parking lot.
“You’re
such a weirdo,” Tricia told him when he made a complete stop before pulling out
of the parking lot. “Not even one squealed tire? Really?”
He
laughed and gave a little shrug, turning on the wipers as a small sprinkling of
rain started up. “I like to be safe. It’s a nice car, if you haven’t noticed.
With some nice ladies inside, too.”
“Where?”
Seth asked, looking around.
I
kicked the passenger’s seat. “Be good.”
“I
bet if we were wearing low-cut blouses he’d be nicer,” Tricia said with a
smile. We were on 85th street now, heading away from the city of
Milwaukee and toward the little suburb of New Berlin. “Remember two years ago
when we didn’t have chests? I don’t even think Seth ever even talked to me in
the hall.”
“I
never talked to anyone in the hall,” Seth muttered. “Especially girls without
chests.”
“I
bet I’d still have talked to Alice,” Edward said, glancing at me in the mirror.
His dark eyes narrowed deviously.
“Probably
not,” I told him.
Tricia
laughed. “Yeah Eddie, she really wasn’t much to look at when she was a frosh.
See how straight her dark hair is now? It used to be much frizzier. I had to
teach her how to use hairspray. And this face? Zits. Tons and tons of zits. She
needed a lot of help.”
“It’s
true,” I murmured. I’d smoothed out some of the rough edges over the past two
years. My skin was clearer (although I didn’t tan well) and I’d filled into a
slight hourglass shape. My bright brown eyes seemed brighter now than when I
was younger—or maybe I’d just gotten used to them. I used to hate them. Now, I
loved how they complimented my indigo-friendly wardrobe.
“Every
high school student needs a lot of help,” Edward said with a smile. “Me
included.”
“Yeah
I think one of your pecks is smaller than the other,” Seth said, giving Edward
a poke in the ribs. Edward flinched, smiling, but said nothing.
Suddenly
he braked, forcing my body against the seat belt. I looked out the windshield
and saw the car of Joey Harrington pass us.
“What
an ass,” Tricia said. “Who passes someone on a residential street?”
“Joey
Harrington,” the rest of us said at the same time. Joey lived in our
neighborhood, too. He kept to his clique of popular students inside the
lunchroom and played football and hockey. He didn’t talk to us, but he didn’t
pick on us either. We were the in-betweens—not quite popular, not quite
outcasts who were the target of bullies. But we had friends in the outcast
cliques, and so Joey and his friends’ taunts affected us too.
After
Edward started dating me and word had spread, Joey was even nice to me in the
hallway. Not overly nice, mind you …
but he’d say hi. And it was hard not to enjoy it.
“You
should cut him off,” Tricia said.
“I’d
love nothing more,” Edward responded. “But not today.”
“Not
today,” Seth scoffed. “You always say that. You’ve got, like, the coolest head
in the school. And I mean that in a bad way, dude.”
“Yeah,”
said Trish, “what happens when you get caught in some drama? You’ll have to
take a side. Joey and his friends and those cool girls are obsessed with making drama.”
Edward
just shrugged. It didn’t get to him. At least, I don’t think it did. He was
cool. He looked cool—calm, I mean. His short dark hair and square jaw made him
look like someone out of an old black-and-white detective film, one of those
guys who’s always thinking one step ahead.
As
we headed farther west, the houses and properties began to spread out. No more
small boxy World War II-era homes … now, everything was getting bigger. Bigger
homes. Bigger front yards. Bigger cars. We passed Southridge Mall, and then our
rival high school. The street widened into four lanes to accommodate more
traffic.
Edward
turned right at Cherokee Drive, weaving around bends in the street. The houses
in this small patch of neighborhood were crowded with pine and maple trees.
Everything was green. Summer was here.
“Your
stop, my friends,” Edward said, pulling into the driveway of a long two-story
house with brown siding and wide windows overlooking the road. This was Seth’s
house. You couldn’t see it from the front road, but in the back yard was one of
the most amazing swing sets out there, complete with a climbing tower and
monkey bars. As kids, Seth and I had logged hundreds of hours on that jungle
gym.
Tricia
opened her door, then reached out and grabbed Edward’s shoulder. “So you’ll
pick us up tomorrow, right?”
He
laughed. “I promise.”
“Please,”
she said. She turned to me. “Don’t either of you forget. I can’t miss that exam.”
“You
need to focus on passing the exam,” I
told her sternly.
“I
will.” She smiled her pearly white smile, then blew me a kiss.
Edward
gave a wave to Seth, pulling out of the driveway and heading back toward 86th
Street. On the way, we passed my house. My parents were both home, their twin
Toyotas sitting in the driveway. Our house was narrower than Seth’s. Taller,
too—our house had two floors. The paneling outside was dark blue and the
windows much, much older. Drafty. Edward had never been inside my house, but if
he had he would have first noticed the draft coming in through the windows.
Everyone noticed that first.
We
were quiet for a while. Edward didn’t talk much. I thought it was sexy; it
reminded me of the hunks that always showed up in the books that all the girls
in school read during Study Hall. The hunks were always silent. Always
mysterious. Like Edward. Why he’d zeroed in on plain Alice was the subject of
many guesses.
“Are
we going to prom next year?” I asked him suddenly.
He
turned right on 86th Street. “Of course.”
I
leaned back. I wished I’d gotten in the front seat to be closer to him. I
wanted to be close to him suddenly. To make sure he didn’t disappear.
“What
made you think of that?” he asked.
“I
just got this, like, real weird feeling run over me,” I said. “Like, we’re not
going to be together next year or something.” Give me reassurance, I thought.
There were prettier girls in school. They all liked Edward. They talked to him
in class. They tried to make him laugh because he had a nice smile. OK, I’m
being modest. A lot of them downright fawned over him. I pretended not to see
it, but in reality we’re talking more than a little anxiety. He’d made friends
so quickly—that was what happened when you joined track. The runners were
popular.
He
didn’t answer at first. Not exactly what I was hoping for.
“Seriously?”
I asked. “No answer?”
“Of
course we’re going,” he said finally.
“But
you hesitated.”
“A
lot of things happen over the course of the year, Alice.” He shrugged. “I’m game
if you are.”
“But
what?” I asked. “You think I might not be up for it?”
He
didn’t answer. The downside to having a mysterious boyfriend was sometimes he
was mysterious in an annoying sort of way. The popular girly books never
prepare you for that.
“You
OK?” he asked finally.
I
touched my forehead. “Yes. I think. I’ve just been having some weird dreams.”
“What
about?”
“I
don’t know. I can’t remember them well. But I keep waking up in a cold sweat. I
know they’re scary, though. I remember them being scary.”
“Don’t
eat pizza before bedtime,” he offered. “It causes nightmares.”
“Thank
you, doctor. That’s really wonderful advice.”
Farther
out at the edge of the suburb were the much larger houses. These houses were
less social than the ones in my neighborhood: each one had a wrought iron gate
and expansive yards and high fences that acted as a buffer between their
neighbors. Each house was secluded and that, I think, was the way the owners
liked it.
They
liked their yards, too. Edward’s neighbor had put in a number of massive green
shrubs that had been cut to resemble animals. Edward’s parents had “installed”
maple and ash trees around the edge of the property to give their mansion—a
thick, two-story monolith with off-white paneling and narrow prison-like windows—the
feel of a cabin out in the woods.
A
really, really big cabin.
He
stopped the car at the gate, running his keycard across the little sensor box.
The gate opened and he drove up the asphalt driveway, parking at the side of
the house. Up close, the house looked more “middle class” and less “Super
Filthy Rich.” There was a small door that presumably led to the basement and
two green garbage bins that always seemed to be overflowing. Rain water had
stained the red-brick foundation with ugly black streaks.
“Ugh,”
I said, stepping around the garbage bag sitting on the grass next to the
overflowing bin. Food wrappers and empty orange juice cartons were leaking out.
“The raccoons got to it. Don’t your parents tell you to take out the trash?”
“Every
week,” Edward said with a smile. “I hate doing it. It’s a long walk from the
house to the street, if you haven’t noticed.”
“I’ve
noticed,” I said. “You could almost have your own bus line from the street to
your house.”
We
walked up the concrete steps to the front door. Edward pulled out his keys and
unlocked it.
“No
parents?”
“What
do you mean?” he asked with concern in his voice.
“I
thought you said they might be home today.”
“Tonight,”
he said. “Later tonight. Much, much later.”
We
walked into the house. The front door opened into a massive living room. Near
the front door were two blue couches and a large flatscreen TV smushed against
the wall. Over the beautiful dark gray floral pattern wallpaper. That idea had
to have come from Edward’s dad, I thought. No sane woman would hang something
over such beautiful wallpaper.
Beyond
the living room was the kitchen and a bathroom, the only other two rooms—beside
his bedroom upstairs—that Edward said we were allowed to hang out in. The first
floor had three more rooms, each one filled with things teenagers weren’t
allowed to touch. Edward had shown me one afternoon when he was sure his
parents wouldn’t show up. The first room was full of tall marble statues. Old,
old statues. Statues of goddesses and ancient soldiers and plain-looking
figures who had the curly hair and wardrobe of philosophers.
The
second room was full of paintings, which hung on the wall and were held in
place by solid metal frames whose intricate designs were almost as interesting
as the paintings themselves. Lots of cherubs. Edward’s parents had a thing for
cuddly little angel babies, I guess.
The
third room led to the staircase and the bedrooms upstairs. This room was
simpler, with tall solid wood bookshelves that tempted me every time we snuck
upstairs. Books so old just looking at their delicate broken spines might cause
them pain. Books so old the writing on the covers looked as if it had been
inked in a different language entirely, the font so obscure you had to squint
and remember back to your cursive lessons to figure out each letter. It was
beautiful.
We
went in there now on our way to his bedroom. I stopped as I always did,
exploring one of the bookshelves nearest the large staircase pressed against
the far wall. My bare toes sank into the soft red carpeting as I ran a finger
along the middle row. This was the only room with carpeting. It looked old,
too, as if it belonged in an earlier generation.
“Fairy
tales,” I murmured. “God, there must be dozens of books of fairy tales.”
“They’re
important,” Edward said. “Don’t you think?”
“I
guess.”
“They
are important,” Edward said.
“Children need to believe in happy endings.”
“And
Prince Charming,” I added. I looked up at him. “Right? Prince Charming is real,
isn’t he?”
He
smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “Of course, my love.”
“What’s
this?” I asked, grabbing a flat wooden box sitting on one of the shelves. There
was glass over one side and when I saw what was inside, I nearly dropped it.
“Careful,”
Edward said, taking it from me. “They’re just butterflies.”
“Dead butterflies!” I exclaimed, wiping
my hands on my pants. “Stabbed with needles!”
“That’s
how they’re displayed.”
“Well,
it’s gross. Almost as gross as spiders.”
He
seemed offended, sliding the box back into the bookshelf between two books. “I
have a lot of these, all over the house, so you might as well get used to them.
I collect them. Every butterfly species is different. They’re all beautiful in
their own way.” He looked at me and smiled devilishly. “I bet spiders can taste
the difference, too.”
My
stomach lurched. “Oh that is so gross. Please stop.”
He
put an arm around me. “If you insist, my love.”
We
went upstairs. I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong: I didn’t sleep
with him. In fact, I’d never slept with him. It was strange, especially since
we’d been dating for more than half a year, but I was having doubts about
whether we should go that far at all. He seemed so much more mature than me. He
didn’t laugh at Seth’s ridiculous jokes—he just smiled. He didn’t get excited
at the hockey and basketball and football games we went to—he just clapped. He
didn’t goof around with his track mates in class.
If
we were going to have sex, I wanted to make sure it meant something. And I
still didn’t know Edward, not really … I mean, what about that butterfly
collection? What was that all about? Was he going to work in a museum or
something? And I hadn’t even met his parents yet! Always so busy, running
around making money.
We
necked. There was nothing wrong with that, right? His bed was soft. His dark blue
sheets felt silky on my bare toes. His lips pressed against mine, then made
their way down to my neck. This is nice, I thought. This could be every night
for the rest of my life and I would be happy.
His
hand crept lower. I let it happen until he reached my waist, then pulled it
back. “Not now,” I said.
“When,”
he whispered into my ear. I could sense the longing. It was hard not to give
in. Still, I felt something was wrong
about this moment.
“Soon,”
I said. “I promise. I turn eighteen on Monday, remember?”
He
rolled back, sighing. His tight shirt had rolled up a bit and his strong abs
were visible now. I had to fight the urge to run a hand along them. Gawd, I was
fighting a lot of urges.
“I’m
sorry,” I told him. “Really. You’re wonderful. Almost too wonderful. But I want to wait until I’m eighteen.” There. A
little lie, yes, but it would buy me some time before I had everything figured
out. Plus, I’d be a thousand dollars richer, too.
“It’s
OK,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s OK. This just feels so right for
me, that’s all.”
Yeah.
Right. I bet it did, Edward. I didn’t think any of that at the time, though. At
the time, I felt nothing but shame. Like I’d done something wrong for saying
no. Like I should feel bad because I wasn’t ready to have sex with him. Why
wasn’t I? He was one of the coolest guys in school. He was dark. He was
mysterious. And he was mine.
He
drove me home in silence. I fought the urge to apologize. Be tough, I told
myself. Be tough. You didn’t do
anything wrong. Just because a lot of the kids in the cool clique talked about
sex all the time didn’t make it cool.
Or right.
I
made it past the kiss goodbye. I made it past the kitchen, where my mom was
sitting at the table reading a magazine. I made it to my room. Then I cried. I felt
as if I’d done something wrong saying no. I felt as if I was supposed to sleep with Edward.
Mom
came into my room without knocking. Her soft hand rested on my back and stayed
there while I let it all out.
“It’s
hard,” I said into my pillow.
Mom—ever
the understanding one in these moments—simply affirmed my outlook on life with
a quiet “Mmmm-hmmm.”
“Why?”
I asked.
“Because,”
Mom said, “that’s just the way it is. Life isn’t a fairy tale. It has a lot of
ups and downs.”
I
sighed, dry-hiccupping. The tears were gone. If Dad was up here, he’d call this
a “woman thing” and maybe he was right. My cycle had begun acting less on time
for the last six months, ever since I’d started dating Edward. It was nothing
spectacularly big—a couple days early, then a couple days late—but it was
incredibly strange given how rigorous my cycle usually was. I didn’t want to
mention that to my mom.
Those types of topics had a tendency to lead to “sex
talks,” and I’d had enough of those. Really, just one or two is enough, Mom.
“You’re
starting your new job in a few days,” Mom said. “Look forward to that. Just get
through these last few exams and then focus on that. I’ll run your pillow case
through the laundry tonight, too.”
“It’s
not a job,” I murmured. Gawd, what a teenager-thing to say. Here she was,
trying her best to cheer me up, and I had to go and pick her words apart.
She
was unfazed. “Books,” she said in her soothing “Mom” voice, “are what you
love.”
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